Turns out I am not pregnant.

When I first thought we had "oopsied", I was a little disappointed since it wasn't the "ideal" time to have another child. I do know I want 4, and I started to accept that this might be the only time I get that, since hubby is so hot/cold on the subject. As I waited until a good time to test (no period due to ebf) I started to embrace and even get excited over the idea of having a fourth child around sooner than later, however, it's not going to be now. The test was negative. Actually, THREE tests were negative. It is what it is, and I'm not sad per se, but I'm a little bummed. What if DH really resists having another child? I am NOT done. I literally NEED a fourth (not need in the sense of life or death, or even happiness vs. unhappiness). Mostly, it's a completion. I don't feel complete yet. It's just what we're meant to have...4.

Anyway, enough rambling. My time will come, I hope.

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