Baby, baby, oh baby!

So...I absolutely LOATHE artificial birth control. The feeling of having artificial hormones in my body and the fact that ALL BC has a "back up" plan to keep an egg from implanting (yes, if it becomes fertilized, it prevents implantation, which to me and many others is a form of abortion) is enough to keep me off it. Not to mention the TERRIBLE symptoms (weight gain, horrid periods, etc) that I experienced when on it. So, where am I going with this?

Seth and I decided while I was still pregnant with turd #3 that I we would use NFP (natural family planning). I had mocked this idea many times before (ex: Q: What do you call a couple that practices nfp? A: PARENTS! hahaha) but the more I learned about it, the more it just made sense. And actually, the more I learned about BC, the scarier it became!!

Now, it's no secret that I'm breastfeeding, and exclusively no less. Ecological breastfeeding is a very effective way to keep fertility at bay, HOWEVER you must "follow" it to a T or else it isn't going to be as effective. We planned on utilizing the benefits of this while I took time to get some NFP books and learn my cycle etc. Well, I didn't plan on having such a good baby! He has been practically sleeping through the night since he was a newborn and even during the day can go hours without a feeding. In order to make breastfeeding an effective way to curb fertility, you MUST feed every 4-5 hours AT LEAST. Needless to say, this hasn't been the case, especially the last 2 months.

Where am I going with this? Well, the Mister and I were having our monthly intimate session (yea, we probably do it more than that, but with 3 kids and still only being 4 months pp, I'm not feeling all that "hot" right now) and basically, we weren't very careful. I haven't bought ANY NFP books (my fault, I know) and so we've been playing it safe, until Friday night. Now, it's way too early to tell anything, obviously, and I'm most likely NOT fertile, even with the breastfeeding gaps, HOWEVER, it really is a possibility that I could end up pregnant from this friendly little romp.

Am I upset? No. Ideally I would have LOVED to TTC when Alexander was around 18 months old and hubby has been pretty on the fence (but moreso on the side of the fence that says "NO MORE KIDS!") so, this would still be a very welcomed pregnancy as I KNOW I want at least one more, it just isn't how I would "plan" it.

At first I was sort of stressing, but, why? Why stress when a) I don't even KNOW if I'm pregnant and cannot test for probably 2 or 3 weeks b) I WANT a fourth child and c) I know, each time I have sex, with BC, condoms, NFP, whatever, it IS A REAL RISK that I could get pregnant, everyone knows that (right?). So, whatever will be will be! I am going to be slightly anxious/nervous for the next couple of weeks until I "know" (I swear, I hate my mind, all day I "felt" pregnant lol) but whatever the results, I'm ready!

**for the record, when used and practiced correctly, NFP is just as effective (if not moreso) than BC. If you are unhappy with the side effects of your BC or just like to life a more natural life style, purchase some books on NFP and start practicing, but do it the right way or else, like any other BC method, you affect it's effectiveness and put yourself "at risk" for getting pregnant**