I love the *idea* of letting my children explore and experiment with things, permitting they are appropriate and safe. However, I find that the *idea* of letting them do this and the reality of being able to allow it often collide...and explode.
I wish I could allow them to be crafty and NOT CARE that there was glue and glitter and marker all over the kitchen, but I have a house full of 7 people to maintain...plus, who wants to waste money replacing things that get damaged?
I wish I could laugh as they chased each other around the house, SHRIEKING with delight and making my ear drums ring, but, unfortunately, I do not enjoy migraines...plus you can only take so much medication before you're doing more harm than good!
I wish I could let them get FILTHY in the dirt playing outside, catching bugs and picking their nose, but I can't help but tell them to "Keep away from there, in case there's black widows!" or " Please keep those DIRTY fingers out of your mouth...and your sister's!"...plus, I really like to avoid unnecessary exposure to germs and deadly pests, even if SOME germs are a good thing.
I wish I could NEVER have to yell or raise my voice at my children, but if I never did they'd never hear me over their own chorus of cheers, chants and tears...plus, I hear yelling a little keeps you from going off the deep end completely.
I wish that I could say I loved breastfeeding ALL the time because it's only beautiful and wonderful and joyous, but then I'd be not only a liar but discrediting myself and the other moms when they are going through a BAD or DIFFICULT phase...plus, let's face it, after 2.5 years sometimes you just want to say no, because you can.
I wish that I could let my house stay in a constant state of toy mess and not get frustrated at the massive piles of trucks, barbies and stubbed toes that result from it but, I enjoy NOT stubbing my toe to a bloody nubbin and having a neat and organized house that doesn't automatically scream "KIDS LIVE HERE" when someone walks in the door...plus, who really enjoys having bloody nubs for toes?
I really do wish I could live up to the *idea* of that kind of mom, but instead, I'll keep doing my best to reach that point and not cry if I miss it by an inch...or a mile...plus, who REALLY wants to be *perfect* anyhow?
Showing posts with label 3 kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 3 kids. Show all posts
5.14.2010
6.01.2009
What I've been up to
So what exactly do I do when I am neglecting my blog here? Well, other than wiping noses and bottoms, picking up toys while balancing dishes and picking up and dropping kids off at school I am working on my photography. I started taking pictures for fun years ago, *never* serious about it whatsoever. However, after having Alexander I've really started to focus on what I am doing. It is slowly growing in to a business and I recently invested in a new camera to aid in that even more.
I love it and hope to see it really become something. The kids, however, are not always as fond of me having a camera in their face, but the people I have had the pleasure of working with so far have been thrilled. To me there is nothing more fulfilling than taking pictures and capturing someone's life, especially growing bellies and sweet new babies. *melt* The baby bug is biting again...how is this possible?
On top of picture taking I am dealing with the emotions that every mother deals with when her baby has progressed from baby to toddler. On top of the emotions that accompany the quickness in which children grow come the emotions of DEALING with a toddler. For me, I am experiencing many new things because Alexander is my first boy, my first nursling, my first cloth diapered baby, etc. But he is also the first child that has truly tried my abilities as a mum. He has always been "all boy" but now that he's gained new abilities as a rough and tumble tot he is even more intense. Some days all I can do to keep myself from running to the loony bin is to literally run away and hide. If he can't find me for 5 minutes, maybe it'll be long enough to calm down and not string him up by his toes!
Remember that book "I'll Love You Forever" by Robert N. Munsch? He reminds me oh so much of the little boy in that book...
Margaret has one week left of school after which she will be a 1st grader! Holy cow! I cannot even begin to believe I have a first grader. She survived kindergarten, and at a Catholic school, no less. It is official, though, that next year she'll be homeschooled, most likely through our local charter school...that is, unless, we end up in the great state of Texas. Which is a story for another post!
Iris seems to both despise and enjoy preschool, which is typical Iris fashion to be basically fickle as all get out! She only goes two days a week and will also be out by Friday. I am wondering what I am going to do with these kids all day come summer...I better start planning now!
As much as I could keep writing, and oh how I do want to, I must saunter off to bed. I've gotten in to the habit of staying up far too late working on pictures and it's getting the better of me come afternoon each day!
I promise to keep the blog updated and plan to start one specifically for photography so I don't bore those of you not at all interested in it! Thank you to anyone who still reads these ramblings! Nighty Night!
I love it and hope to see it really become something. The kids, however, are not always as fond of me having a camera in their face, but the people I have had the pleasure of working with so far have been thrilled. To me there is nothing more fulfilling than taking pictures and capturing someone's life, especially growing bellies and sweet new babies. *melt* The baby bug is biting again...how is this possible?
On top of picture taking I am dealing with the emotions that every mother deals with when her baby has progressed from baby to toddler. On top of the emotions that accompany the quickness in which children grow come the emotions of DEALING with a toddler. For me, I am experiencing many new things because Alexander is my first boy, my first nursling, my first cloth diapered baby, etc. But he is also the first child that has truly tried my abilities as a mum. He has always been "all boy" but now that he's gained new abilities as a rough and tumble tot he is even more intense. Some days all I can do to keep myself from running to the loony bin is to literally run away and hide. If he can't find me for 5 minutes, maybe it'll be long enough to calm down and not string him up by his toes!
Remember that book "I'll Love You Forever" by Robert N. Munsch? He reminds me oh so much of the little boy in that book...
Margaret has one week left of school after which she will be a 1st grader! Holy cow! I cannot even begin to believe I have a first grader. She survived kindergarten, and at a Catholic school, no less. It is official, though, that next year she'll be homeschooled, most likely through our local charter school...that is, unless, we end up in the great state of Texas. Which is a story for another post!
Iris seems to both despise and enjoy preschool, which is typical Iris fashion to be basically fickle as all get out! She only goes two days a week and will also be out by Friday. I am wondering what I am going to do with these kids all day come summer...I better start planning now!
As much as I could keep writing, and oh how I do want to, I must saunter off to bed. I've gotten in to the habit of staying up far too late working on pictures and it's getting the better of me come afternoon each day!
I promise to keep the blog updated and plan to start one specifically for photography so I don't bore those of you not at all interested in it! Thank you to anyone who still reads these ramblings! Nighty Night!
7.16.2008
Life as it pertains to ME
Man, where have I been? Crazy town, I think, and I took the express!
My dear sweet husband was laid off, as were many others (12 just in his department). I know that our economy is doing poorly, and it's even harder when your only source of income is *POOF* gone. We had to move into my mother's house and I am so surprised I am still alive. This is probably the hardest thing I've done as a parent. I lived with my mom until Maggie was about 18 months, then Seth and I moved in together. Maggie is now 5.5 years old...and I'm here again.
It's weird being in the same room I was a teenager in. So many devious things happened here. Now it's a bedroom for 5. My closet is packed full of clothes and I'm so thankful I begged for a closet organizer as a teen, because it is SO useful now!
Aside from the usual burdens of living with your parents, things are going pretty well. I think I'm going to start midwifery school earlier than anticipated. Why not? We're here rent free. Seth is also pursuing his dreams of law enforcement and looking for part-time work to just "get us by" in the meantime.
Alexander and Iris caught some bizarre summer cold and they've been keeping me up the past few days, poor babes. I'm hoping we can qualify for medi-cal, since Seth lost insurance along with his job. Go figure they get sick right after we lose it.
Lately, I haven't been feeling well. It could be a number of things though the popular vote has gone to pregnancy. I won't know for a while, I have no money to test but some nice mommies have offered to send me one. I love the online community of girlfriend's that I've built. You guys rock. Hopefully soon I will know what is making me sick. I'm hoping it's just stress, and sore nipples are a bonus...
Maggie was accepted into Sacred Heart School. My heart is set on homeschooling, but with everything going on, this might be best for now. We will be purchasing her uniforms soon. I can't believe my baby girl is almost in kindergarten. I am developing heart palpitations. Holy freakin' cow.
Iris has blossomed into such a wonderful child. A hurricane still, but discovering so much for herself. Swim lessons have turned her from a aquaphobiac to an olympic diver! Ok, not really, but close! She now will go under water and blow bubbles! Yea!!
Alexander has had to sit on the sidelines during swim lessons with Dad, but he's enjoying the outdoors. He's been crawling for a couple of months now and is cruising along furniture. He's also standing unassisted for longer periods of time. I wonder if he'll be my "early walker". He's also still nursing on demand and eating few solids, his gag reflex is pretty sensitive. He weighs 24 lbs now and is just so big and healthy. Aside from this drag of a cold, he's a happy little boy.
I hope this summer is treating everybody else well. Tell me what you've done with it. Any vacations planned or taken? What's your favorite thing about summertime?
My dear sweet husband was laid off, as were many others (12 just in his department). I know that our economy is doing poorly, and it's even harder when your only source of income is *POOF* gone. We had to move into my mother's house and I am so surprised I am still alive. This is probably the hardest thing I've done as a parent. I lived with my mom until Maggie was about 18 months, then Seth and I moved in together. Maggie is now 5.5 years old...and I'm here again.
It's weird being in the same room I was a teenager in. So many devious things happened here. Now it's a bedroom for 5. My closet is packed full of clothes and I'm so thankful I begged for a closet organizer as a teen, because it is SO useful now!
Aside from the usual burdens of living with your parents, things are going pretty well. I think I'm going to start midwifery school earlier than anticipated. Why not? We're here rent free. Seth is also pursuing his dreams of law enforcement and looking for part-time work to just "get us by" in the meantime.
Alexander and Iris caught some bizarre summer cold and they've been keeping me up the past few days, poor babes. I'm hoping we can qualify for medi-cal, since Seth lost insurance along with his job. Go figure they get sick right after we lose it.
Lately, I haven't been feeling well. It could be a number of things though the popular vote has gone to pregnancy. I won't know for a while, I have no money to test but some nice mommies have offered to send me one. I love the online community of girlfriend's that I've built. You guys rock. Hopefully soon I will know what is making me sick. I'm hoping it's just stress, and sore nipples are a bonus...
Maggie was accepted into Sacred Heart School. My heart is set on homeschooling, but with everything going on, this might be best for now. We will be purchasing her uniforms soon. I can't believe my baby girl is almost in kindergarten. I am developing heart palpitations. Holy freakin' cow.
Iris has blossomed into such a wonderful child. A hurricane still, but discovering so much for herself. Swim lessons have turned her from a aquaphobiac to an olympic diver! Ok, not really, but close! She now will go under water and blow bubbles! Yea!!
Alexander has had to sit on the sidelines during swim lessons with Dad, but he's enjoying the outdoors. He's been crawling for a couple of months now and is cruising along furniture. He's also standing unassisted for longer periods of time. I wonder if he'll be my "early walker". He's also still nursing on demand and eating few solids, his gag reflex is pretty sensitive. He weighs 24 lbs now and is just so big and healthy. Aside from this drag of a cold, he's a happy little boy.
I hope this summer is treating everybody else well. Tell me what you've done with it. Any vacations planned or taken? What's your favorite thing about summertime?
5.13.2008
A day in the life...
Sometimes I imagine I'm something else instead of "mom". I will sit back, close my eyes and drift to a place where I can be anything, anywhere in the world. I quite enjoy these daydreams, but I think that the fantasy could never replace my reality. I'm just so darn happy, even though I find myself stressed or stretched thin many times. I can truly and honestly say I love these kids so darn much and cannot imagine myself any place better!!
Not long ago I started on a new mom adventure and entered the world of cloth diapers. I think we've been CDing for about 2 months now, not quite sure. So far, it's going really well. I need to purchase more covers, but I knew when I started I didn't have the recommended amount, so of course, that's made it a little harder on me. All in all though, it's very possible to do, even with 3 kids and off site laundry, and I feel more than ever there's no excuse to NOT cloth diaper. I wanted to make a list of the pros and cons that I personally have compiled. This is not everything, but this is most that I can think of.
PROS
There really isn't much new in my life. My husband is taking vacation starting tomorrow, and we've been so excited for this!! We have quite a few things planned for the family and we just plan to enjoy every moment of it! He's been working so hard and really deserves this break. I am so anxious to just spend time with my lovely family.
A day in the life of "mom" may not be as exciting as my "dream" jobs and I don't always get to look forward to vacations, but no matter what, the good outweighs the bad. No matter what, there is just no place I'd rather be. No matter what, I am mom...and it's not that bad.
Not long ago I started on a new mom adventure and entered the world of cloth diapers. I think we've been CDing for about 2 months now, not quite sure. So far, it's going really well. I need to purchase more covers, but I knew when I started I didn't have the recommended amount, so of course, that's made it a little harder on me. All in all though, it's very possible to do, even with 3 kids and off site laundry, and I feel more than ever there's no excuse to NOT cloth diaper. I wanted to make a list of the pros and cons that I personally have compiled. This is not everything, but this is most that I can think of.
PROS
- Cost. The savings are amazing. Even when you factor in detergent and water/heating energy, you save a load (no pun intended!).
- Ease. It is only slightly more difficult when using prefolds, and when using AIOs (all-in-ones, just like sposies but made of cloth) it is no harder. You can also find WAHM (work at home mom) businesses that make very affordable diapers and there are so many varying colors and brands to fit YOUR life.
- Better on babe. Alexander was suffering from chronic red butt, and ever since the cloth, we've had no problems!! I'm REALLY happy that his cute little bum is protected.
- Environmentally friendly. Anytime I feel like "Oh, it's so much easier to use disposables" I think about how great the CDs are for the environment and how they are reusable AND made of natural materials. I like that, unlike sposies, they don't take up to 500 years to decompose!
- Require more planning. Now, I know you have to keep on top of your disposables and make sure you don't run out, but you can buy them 200 at a time. With the cloth, I have to make sure I plan to do laundry before I'm pushing it. I have only "run out" one time, and it was, of course, my fault (slacked on laundry that week) but nonetheless, I had to buy some sposies for the day because of it. I have, however, now learned to keep some on hand just in case.
- Time. They take time not in the sense that I don't have any, or even when it comes to actually changing him, but I do have to factor in the extra 2-3 loads per week. Now, if I had a washer and dryer here, that'd be no problem...but I don't. I have to go to my mom's house, and so it does tap into my time a little more. The plus is that I (aside from that one time) can't really slack on laundry. If I'm going to go do a load of diapers, I may as well bring a load of something else, also!
- Comments. Not that I let anyone else's opinion bother me, but I do sort of get sick of hearing "Oh, really? People still do that?" or "Why?!?!?! That's so GROSS!!" when they have absolutely NO clue what CDs are like.
There really isn't much new in my life. My husband is taking vacation starting tomorrow, and we've been so excited for this!! We have quite a few things planned for the family and we just plan to enjoy every moment of it! He's been working so hard and really deserves this break. I am so anxious to just spend time with my lovely family.
A day in the life of "mom" may not be as exciting as my "dream" jobs and I don't always get to look forward to vacations, but no matter what, the good outweighs the bad. No matter what, there is just no place I'd rather be. No matter what, I am mom...and it's not that bad.
2.10.2008
How to Cope
Often times I'm approached by strangers (or even friends and family) asking how I cope with having 3 kids, especially being so young. The short and simple answer is "You just do! There's not a choice NOT to cope!". But, really and truly, there are mechanics in place to make this mother-child relationship work times 3.
So, without further ado, here's how to cope:
Pick your Battles
This has got to be one of the most important pieces to making my puzzle work! If I were to scold or correct everything that one child did "wrong", I'd spend my whole day nagging. I don't wish for my kids to live in a negative environment, nor do I wish to reside in one. So, instead, I pick the parts that I feel deem worthy of discipline or lecture. These include instances that are dangerous, in which someone was hurt (emotionally or physically), when they crossed the line of inappropriate or when they blatantly disregaurd a rule. Other times, I just let it roll. 9 times out of 10 your children will do things simply for the attention they get anyway.
Don't Plan
Now, I may be alone in the mom world here, but for us, if I DON'T plan and just do things spontaneously it works so much better! If I plan on doing something, it almost always stresses me out, gets the kids riled up and ends in a negative way. If I just go on a whim, our ship runs much more smoothly! Now, I plan to a certain extent, like, I know I will need to get groceries sometime in the next 2 days. But, that's the most planning I'll do for it. Then, sometime in the next 2 days, I'll pack the kids up when they're in good moods, load them in the van and head to the store, which will most definitely end up being a hell of a trip, but less of a hassel than had I planned it! It also makes it easier to be spontaneously with a baby who I nurse on demand. Since he's not scheduled, I can nurse him when he asks and then head to the store and not have to worry about nursing, shopping and chasing 2 0ther kids all at once!
Get rid of schedules!
This doesn't work for everyone, and I know it. But for us, NOT scheduling is so nice! Firstly, I HATE being told what to do and when to do it! I'm not always hungry at noon every day, sometimes I want lunch at 11, or maybe 1. Our kids are no different. I keep a vague time frame for when I like things to be done and I DO enforce that, however, it is definitely not to a tee. Bedtime is anywhere before 10pm. Breakfast is whenever the kids ask to eat. Naps...HA, I'm lucky if anyone naps! But that's ok!! This is how we run. This is what works!
Me time!!!!
This is big and EVERY mother should have this, but every mother should remember that her number one priority is her kiddos. Sometimes, me time just DOESN'T happen, and you HAVE GOT to be ok with that. I am! Yeah, I need to walk away sometimes and I've done it! You know those commercials advocating against SBS (Shaken Baby Syndrome)? The ones that say "If you feel like shaking your baby, put it down and walk away."? Well, I utilize that philosophy. If I feel I'm going to yell or spank my kids, I walk away. I believe in gentle discipline, treating children with love and respect, like human beings. So, if I feel I'm not going to treat them that way, I leave the room. I take a breather. Sometimes, that's the only "me" time I get. Other times, I'm able to have my husband (who's usually only working or sleeping) take the kids for 15 minutes. This is usually just enough time for me to regain my strength. Ideally, I wish I could take a weekend away with my husband, but that's not a reality, and I won't let fantasy affect my parenting. Maybe some do. *shrug*
Don't Compare
I don't compare myself to other mommies. If I did, I would go crazy. Why? Because all mommies do things differently. I can't worry about Jane's finances and how they seem so much better off than me, and I can't worry about Marcy's debt because I can't imagine how she does it. It's not my problem. We have our own individual problems. And the same goes with kids. I can't worry about Donna's kids and how they are doing in school, or what milestones her baby has met (or not) or how her marriage is or isn't going. If I looked at all the things other people had, instead of focusing on what we have or need, I'd spend my whole life trying to rearrange my whole life! Ridiculous. So, I worry about us. I focus on us. I am proud of us. I make choices for us. This is how I cope with not going CRAZY!
The thing is, what works for me and mine, may not work for you and yours, but this is how I cope with life as a (practically single) mother of 3. If you're having trouble, feel free to adapt one of my methods, but remember, I am in no way responsible if it doesn't work! Seriously. :)
So, without further ado, here's how to cope:
Pick your Battles
This has got to be one of the most important pieces to making my puzzle work! If I were to scold or correct everything that one child did "wrong", I'd spend my whole day nagging. I don't wish for my kids to live in a negative environment, nor do I wish to reside in one. So, instead, I pick the parts that I feel deem worthy of discipline or lecture. These include instances that are dangerous, in which someone was hurt (emotionally or physically), when they crossed the line of inappropriate or when they blatantly disregaurd a rule. Other times, I just let it roll. 9 times out of 10 your children will do things simply for the attention they get anyway.
Don't Plan
Now, I may be alone in the mom world here, but for us, if I DON'T plan and just do things spontaneously it works so much better! If I plan on doing something, it almost always stresses me out, gets the kids riled up and ends in a negative way. If I just go on a whim, our ship runs much more smoothly! Now, I plan to a certain extent, like, I know I will need to get groceries sometime in the next 2 days. But, that's the most planning I'll do for it. Then, sometime in the next 2 days, I'll pack the kids up when they're in good moods, load them in the van and head to the store, which will most definitely end up being a hell of a trip, but less of a hassel than had I planned it! It also makes it easier to be spontaneously with a baby who I nurse on demand. Since he's not scheduled, I can nurse him when he asks and then head to the store and not have to worry about nursing, shopping and chasing 2 0ther kids all at once!
Get rid of schedules!
This doesn't work for everyone, and I know it. But for us, NOT scheduling is so nice! Firstly, I HATE being told what to do and when to do it! I'm not always hungry at noon every day, sometimes I want lunch at 11, or maybe 1. Our kids are no different. I keep a vague time frame for when I like things to be done and I DO enforce that, however, it is definitely not to a tee. Bedtime is anywhere before 10pm. Breakfast is whenever the kids ask to eat. Naps...HA, I'm lucky if anyone naps! But that's ok!! This is how we run. This is what works!
Me time!!!!
This is big and EVERY mother should have this, but every mother should remember that her number one priority is her kiddos. Sometimes, me time just DOESN'T happen, and you HAVE GOT to be ok with that. I am! Yeah, I need to walk away sometimes and I've done it! You know those commercials advocating against SBS (Shaken Baby Syndrome)? The ones that say "If you feel like shaking your baby, put it down and walk away."? Well, I utilize that philosophy. If I feel I'm going to yell or spank my kids, I walk away. I believe in gentle discipline, treating children with love and respect, like human beings. So, if I feel I'm not going to treat them that way, I leave the room. I take a breather. Sometimes, that's the only "me" time I get. Other times, I'm able to have my husband (who's usually only working or sleeping) take the kids for 15 minutes. This is usually just enough time for me to regain my strength. Ideally, I wish I could take a weekend away with my husband, but that's not a reality, and I won't let fantasy affect my parenting. Maybe some do. *shrug*
Don't Compare
I don't compare myself to other mommies. If I did, I would go crazy. Why? Because all mommies do things differently. I can't worry about Jane's finances and how they seem so much better off than me, and I can't worry about Marcy's debt because I can't imagine how she does it. It's not my problem. We have our own individual problems. And the same goes with kids. I can't worry about Donna's kids and how they are doing in school, or what milestones her baby has met (or not) or how her marriage is or isn't going. If I looked at all the things other people had, instead of focusing on what we have or need, I'd spend my whole life trying to rearrange my whole life! Ridiculous. So, I worry about us. I focus on us. I am proud of us. I make choices for us. This is how I cope with not going CRAZY!
The thing is, what works for me and mine, may not work for you and yours, but this is how I cope with life as a (practically single) mother of 3. If you're having trouble, feel free to adapt one of my methods, but remember, I am in no way responsible if it doesn't work! Seriously. :)
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