While pregnant with my first child I didn't have a strong belief or point of view on breastfeeding. It is widely accepted and believed to be the ideal choice of food for any infant, but for many, including my former self, formula is a perfectly acceptable substitute. Infant formulas are also often believed to be just as good as breastmilk. And why not believe this, it's how they are marketed, many hospital nurses push it even when you wish to breastfeed, and the answer to any problem with a nursing infant is to supplement with formula. Is it any wonder I hardly breastfed my first daughter past a few months?
During the short time I breastfed Maggie, I didn't enjoy it. I was told that cracked and bleeding nipples were part of the horrors of breastfeeding, and so when mine became cracked and bloody, I nursed through it, and of course, hated the experience. I wasn't informed by anyone that the choices I made, even in birth, could affect our nursing relationship or that just one bottle could be the beginning of the end. At that point in time, I don't know that having the information would have changed any of my choices anyway. For me, I think I had to take that path and make those choices. It has aided in the way I've formed my current opinions.
You see, I've been there, I've done that. I'm not looking down on women who were given poor advice or lack(ed) the information available. I didn't have it myself. I have been on all sides of the spectrum: I nursed and switched, I exclusively formula fed and I exclusively breastfed. When I say "I know how you feel" in regards to breastfeeding and formula feeding, I mean it.
Thankfully, despite not getting the best start in life, my girls are thriving and healthy. That's wonderful. I didn't see that and say to the indisputable scientific fact "This is untrue, my kids are FINE, therefore, formula does not decrease overall health!". No, instead I said, "This is amazing, interesting information. How lucky I am that my girls don't have (insert health issue, like asthma, diabetes, childhood obesity, etc) for not receiving breastmilk." But, just because my girls came out unscathed didn't mean I couldn't do my best to give my next baby an even better chance at a healthy start to his life. I made it my mission to succeed at breastfeeding. That mission started while I was pregnant with my son.
I read EVERYTHING. I joined breastfeeding forums to see what problems real women were facing with breastfeeding. I read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" from cover to cover like it was the breastfeeding bible. I posted concerns and sought help, before I could even have a problem. I figured, the issues with breastfeeding in the past, for me, were all due to lack of information, so I armed myself. The worst thing, I imagined, would be to have an issue arrive, and try to find the answer at that time, rather than avoiding the issue to the best of my ability, or having the answer already.
I learned my nipples cracked and bled with my first daughter because she wasn't latched properly. A baby who's properly latched will not cause that kind of pain or damage. The only thing that should be expected is initial soreness, for the first few weeks and a slight discomfort at latch on. Once your baby is suckling away, it shouldn't hurt. If it does, it's not right. Learn about proper latch while pregnant. It's ok to have to "learn" to breastfeed. It's natural, but you and your baby will both have to be teachers and believers in each other.
I also learned that scheduling was not only unnecessary, but could hurt my supply and our nursing relationship. When you have a newborn, their stomach is only the size of a marble, and by 1 week the size of a pingpong ball. You cannot expect so much to fit in there. This is why your newborn will nurse almost constantly, because it can only take so much at a time. I didn't resent nursing every 1-2 hours, knowing this is what my baby needed and WHY he needed it.
Weight loss and weight gain are always on a parent's mind. Many babies will lose 10% of their birth weight while in the hospital. This is normal, I learned, and no cause for concern. I also found that when you're receiving IV fluids in labor, your baby is going to have water weight, so they aren't actually losing as much as you think. Wet and poopy diapers were the best way to gauge my newborn's intake, and there were definitely plenty of those!
I could write a book on this information (which is why La Leche League has done that with the womanly art of breastfeeding) because there is a solution or explanation to almost EVERY scenario in the breastfeeding world, you just have to know where to find that info!
If I had to limit my advice to the single most important factor in successful breastfeeding, it would be preemptive education/prevention. You don't search for the answers to the questions on your test while you're taking it, you prepare for it. You study, you perfect your knowledge the best you can with all the resources available. Breastfeeding should be no exception, if you truly wish to succeed. You'll find your breasts aren't too small or too large; that your baby may nurse every hour for 45 minutes or every 3 hours for 15; That your baby doesn't know how to latch right away and it may take 1 try or 100 tries. The one constant, the one truth, is that less than 3-5%(depending on the source) of women can truly not breastfeed their babies exclusively, so chances are, the issues you might be facing, can be worked through. You just need the tools.
Showing posts with label helpful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helpful. Show all posts
2.08.2010
4.05.2008
CARSEAT INFO AND SAFETY
*FROM A CERT. CARSEAT TECH*
Just to let you know, car crashes are the #2 killer of children under 1 year of age, it is the #1 killer of children 1-14.
The absolute bare minimum is 1 year AND 20lbs. What is best practice? To keep your child rear facing for as long as possible. The AAP recommends keeping your child rfing until the weight limits of your seat which is either 30, 33 or 35lbs. Another thing, MOST states have LAWS in place that say your child HAS to be in a rear facing child restraint until 1 year AND 20lbs. So ANY dr telling you that it is okay to FF them before 1 year is WRONG.
I am a Child Passenger Safety Technician and I all too often see the horrific aftermaths of children who were forward facing and were involved in a car accident. Most recently, we reviewed a case study of a 26 month old, 26lbs child who was in the middle of the backseat, ffing, in a 5 pt harness seat. A car came into their lane and they were in a head on collision at 45mph. This little girl suffered a broken C2 vertebrae. She was the LUCKIEST child. She was in a HALO for 3 months. She had to into temporary state custody b/c the mother couldn't care for her (due to the mother being in the hospital). Evidence shows that if she were still rear facing, she would not have sustained this life threatening injury.
I have had a broken neck before, my C1 and C2 vertebrae's were broken. This area controls breathing, movements, etc...Christopher Reeve is a prime example of having a broken C1 and C2 vertebra in his neck. It is NOT a nice injury and I would never wish that upon anyone...especially a child. It breaks my heart when I hear of parents ffing their child too soon. Because of this kind of mind set that it is a "milestone" to ff your child at 1 year AND 20lbs, many MANY children are needlessly injured.
When a child is in a frontal, head on 35mph crash and their car seat is NOT tethered and they are using a 5 point harness, they will go forward 32". When their seat is tethered, a child will be thrown forward 28". It is imperative that families recognize the NEED to keep their children rear facing for as long as possible.
Here are several links to support keeping your child rear facing for as long as possible.
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/c...trics;109/3/550
http://www.carseat.org/Resources/633.pdf
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/stayrearfacing.aspx
http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/RFAlbum.aspx
http://www.thecarseatlady.com/car_seats/re...cing_seats.html
http://myangelsaliandpeanut.tripod.com/id5.html
http://momtoaliandshae.tripod.com/keepingkidssafeinthecar/
http://www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm
http://www.aap.org/family/1to2yrs.htm
http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/travelsafetytips.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRP7ynNI8mI
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9916868
http://www.carseatsite.com/rear-face_article.htm
Here are a few crash test links to show you the difference in rear facing vs forward facing:
http://www.oeamtc.at/netautor/html_seiten/...icosipriori.mpg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rsqE-uOtMM4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K62Ea8Fs4ng...related&search=
Here is a crash test of a 12 month old RFing
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/jen_nah/carseats/?action=view¤t=video06A_MGA_213_RearFace-Convertib.flv
Then, here is the SAME 12 month old FFing
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/jen_nah/carseats/?action=view¤t=video06B_MGA_213_ForwardFace-Conver.flv
I think 15 links is enough for now, but I do have MANY MANY more showing support.
For those who say their children were uncomfortable rfing, your child knows nothing different. In fact, their legs bending the way they do RFing is actually comfortable to a child. It may not be for an adult. A child is usually more uncomfortable with their legs dangling over the edge or close to the edge of the seat than they are all "squished" up. ALL children go through the kicking, screaming, yelling phase b/c they are active, crawling, walking, etc and would much rather be doing that than harnessed in their seat. They also WANT to see mom or dad in the car. They can hear you, but can't "see" you. They are all phases and they will pass. A child is TOO tall rfing when their head is 1" below the top of the SHELL of the seat OR (check your car seat manual) if you own an older Britax, it is when the tips of the ears are even with the shell of the seat rfing. There is NO documented cases of a child's legs being broken in crashes, but there are TONS of documented cases of children with spinal injuries.
42% of accidents occur in rural settings. 25% of them occur within 5 minutes of your home.
Autopsy reports have shown that children under 2 years old are at 4 times the risk of Internal Decapitation when forward facing. What is Internal Decapitation??
Wikipedia says this:
Internal decapitation, atlantooccipital dislocation, describes the rare process by which the skull separates from the spinal column during severe head injury. This injury is nearly always fatal, since it usually involves nerve damage or severance of the spinal cord. Hanging relies on allowing the subject to break their neck under their own weight.
Here is a lady that actually survived Internal Decapitation http://youtube.com/watch?v=PWmJ1m3Jvhc&mode=related&search=
So, as you can tell, it has ZERO to do with neck STRENGTH. I was in a side impact crash where the drunk driver was going 65-70mph and it snapped my neck--I was 20 years old.
Did you know that if YOU are in a 30mph, one vehicle accident and your child weighs 20lbs, they turn into 600lbs of force. THAT is a LOT of force for a child.
Consider this: A car going 40mph would hit a tree with the same force as hitting the ground after falling off a 50 foot cliff. A person inside the car would hit the windshield (unrestrained, of course) with the same force as hitting the ground after a fall from a five-story building.
Another thing to know is that when a child is RFing, the BACK of their carseat--the part that goes behind their back and head--take the brunt of the crash force. In a FF car seat, the CHILD takes the brunt of the crash force.
This shows spine development. You can see how the spine doesn't fuse together until they are quite older.
This diagram shows you how "top heavy" children are and how disproportioned they are.
No one needs to feel bad or scared or worried. Here is the information. Some crashes are unsurvivorable no matter what safety precautions have been taken.
*reply to poster for code and repost*
Just to let you know, car crashes are the #2 killer of children under 1 year of age, it is the #1 killer of children 1-14.
The absolute bare minimum is 1 year AND 20lbs. What is best practice? To keep your child rear facing for as long as possible. The AAP recommends keeping your child rfing until the weight limits of your seat which is either 30, 33 or 35lbs. Another thing, MOST states have LAWS in place that say your child HAS to be in a rear facing child restraint until 1 year AND 20lbs. So ANY dr telling you that it is okay to FF them before 1 year is WRONG.
I am a Child Passenger Safety Technician and I all too often see the horrific aftermaths of children who were forward facing and were involved in a car accident. Most recently, we reviewed a case study of a 26 month old, 26lbs child who was in the middle of the backseat, ffing, in a 5 pt harness seat. A car came into their lane and they were in a head on collision at 45mph. This little girl suffered a broken C2 vertebrae. She was the LUCKIEST child. She was in a HALO for 3 months. She had to into temporary state custody b/c the mother couldn't care for her (due to the mother being in the hospital). Evidence shows that if she were still rear facing, she would not have sustained this life threatening injury.
I have had a broken neck before, my C1 and C2 vertebrae's were broken. This area controls breathing, movements, etc...Christopher Reeve is a prime example of having a broken C1 and C2 vertebra in his neck. It is NOT a nice injury and I would never wish that upon anyone...especially a child. It breaks my heart when I hear of parents ffing their child too soon. Because of this kind of mind set that it is a "milestone" to ff your child at 1 year AND 20lbs, many MANY children are needlessly injured.
When a child is in a frontal, head on 35mph crash and their car seat is NOT tethered and they are using a 5 point harness, they will go forward 32". When their seat is tethered, a child will be thrown forward 28". It is imperative that families recognize the NEED to keep their children rear facing for as long as possible.
Here are several links to support keeping your child rear facing for as long as possible.
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/c...trics;109/3/550
http://www.carseat.org/Resources/633.pdf
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/stayrearfacing.aspx
http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/RFAlbum.aspx
http://www.thecarseatlady.com/car_seats/re...cing_seats.html
http://myangelsaliandpeanut.tripod.com/id5.html
http://momtoaliandshae.tripod.com/keepingkidssafeinthecar/
http://www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm
http://www.aap.org/family/1to2yrs.htm
http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/travelsafetytips.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRP7ynNI8mI
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9916868
http://www.carseatsite.com/rear-face_article.htm
Here are a few crash test links to show you the difference in rear facing vs forward facing:
http://www.oeamtc.at/netautor/html_seiten/...icosipriori.mpg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rsqE-uOtMM4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K62Ea8Fs4ng...related&search=
Here is a crash test of a 12 month old RFing
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/jen_nah/carseats/?action=view¤t=video06A_MGA_213_RearFace-Convertib.flv
Then, here is the SAME 12 month old FFing
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/jen_nah/carseats/?action=view¤t=video06B_MGA_213_ForwardFace-Conver.flv
I think 15 links is enough for now, but I do have MANY MANY more showing support.
For those who say their children were uncomfortable rfing, your child knows nothing different. In fact, their legs bending the way they do RFing is actually comfortable to a child. It may not be for an adult. A child is usually more uncomfortable with their legs dangling over the edge or close to the edge of the seat than they are all "squished" up. ALL children go through the kicking, screaming, yelling phase b/c they are active, crawling, walking, etc and would much rather be doing that than harnessed in their seat. They also WANT to see mom or dad in the car. They can hear you, but can't "see" you. They are all phases and they will pass. A child is TOO tall rfing when their head is 1" below the top of the SHELL of the seat OR (check your car seat manual) if you own an older Britax, it is when the tips of the ears are even with the shell of the seat rfing. There is NO documented cases of a child's legs being broken in crashes, but there are TONS of documented cases of children with spinal injuries.
42% of accidents occur in rural settings. 25% of them occur within 5 minutes of your home.
Autopsy reports have shown that children under 2 years old are at 4 times the risk of Internal Decapitation when forward facing. What is Internal Decapitation??
Wikipedia says this:
Internal decapitation, atlantooccipital dislocation, describes the rare process by which the skull separates from the spinal column during severe head injury. This injury is nearly always fatal, since it usually involves nerve damage or severance of the spinal cord. Hanging relies on allowing the subject to break their neck under their own weight.
Here is a lady that actually survived Internal Decapitation http://youtube.com/watch?v=PWmJ1m3Jvhc&mode=related&search=
So, as you can tell, it has ZERO to do with neck STRENGTH. I was in a side impact crash where the drunk driver was going 65-70mph and it snapped my neck--I was 20 years old.
Did you know that if YOU are in a 30mph, one vehicle accident and your child weighs 20lbs, they turn into 600lbs of force. THAT is a LOT of force for a child.
Consider this: A car going 40mph would hit a tree with the same force as hitting the ground after falling off a 50 foot cliff. A person inside the car would hit the windshield (unrestrained, of course) with the same force as hitting the ground after a fall from a five-story building.
Another thing to know is that when a child is RFing, the BACK of their carseat--the part that goes behind their back and head--take the brunt of the crash force. In a FF car seat, the CHILD takes the brunt of the crash force.
This shows spine development. You can see how the spine doesn't fuse together until they are quite older.
This diagram shows you how "top heavy" children are and how disproportioned they are.
No one needs to feel bad or scared or worried. Here is the information. Some crashes are unsurvivorable no matter what safety precautions have been taken.
*reply to poster for code and repost*
2.10.2008
How to Cope
Often times I'm approached by strangers (or even friends and family) asking how I cope with having 3 kids, especially being so young. The short and simple answer is "You just do! There's not a choice NOT to cope!". But, really and truly, there are mechanics in place to make this mother-child relationship work times 3.
So, without further ado, here's how to cope:
Pick your Battles
This has got to be one of the most important pieces to making my puzzle work! If I were to scold or correct everything that one child did "wrong", I'd spend my whole day nagging. I don't wish for my kids to live in a negative environment, nor do I wish to reside in one. So, instead, I pick the parts that I feel deem worthy of discipline or lecture. These include instances that are dangerous, in which someone was hurt (emotionally or physically), when they crossed the line of inappropriate or when they blatantly disregaurd a rule. Other times, I just let it roll. 9 times out of 10 your children will do things simply for the attention they get anyway.
Don't Plan
Now, I may be alone in the mom world here, but for us, if I DON'T plan and just do things spontaneously it works so much better! If I plan on doing something, it almost always stresses me out, gets the kids riled up and ends in a negative way. If I just go on a whim, our ship runs much more smoothly! Now, I plan to a certain extent, like, I know I will need to get groceries sometime in the next 2 days. But, that's the most planning I'll do for it. Then, sometime in the next 2 days, I'll pack the kids up when they're in good moods, load them in the van and head to the store, which will most definitely end up being a hell of a trip, but less of a hassel than had I planned it! It also makes it easier to be spontaneously with a baby who I nurse on demand. Since he's not scheduled, I can nurse him when he asks and then head to the store and not have to worry about nursing, shopping and chasing 2 0ther kids all at once!
Get rid of schedules!
This doesn't work for everyone, and I know it. But for us, NOT scheduling is so nice! Firstly, I HATE being told what to do and when to do it! I'm not always hungry at noon every day, sometimes I want lunch at 11, or maybe 1. Our kids are no different. I keep a vague time frame for when I like things to be done and I DO enforce that, however, it is definitely not to a tee. Bedtime is anywhere before 10pm. Breakfast is whenever the kids ask to eat. Naps...HA, I'm lucky if anyone naps! But that's ok!! This is how we run. This is what works!
Me time!!!!
This is big and EVERY mother should have this, but every mother should remember that her number one priority is her kiddos. Sometimes, me time just DOESN'T happen, and you HAVE GOT to be ok with that. I am! Yeah, I need to walk away sometimes and I've done it! You know those commercials advocating against SBS (Shaken Baby Syndrome)? The ones that say "If you feel like shaking your baby, put it down and walk away."? Well, I utilize that philosophy. If I feel I'm going to yell or spank my kids, I walk away. I believe in gentle discipline, treating children with love and respect, like human beings. So, if I feel I'm not going to treat them that way, I leave the room. I take a breather. Sometimes, that's the only "me" time I get. Other times, I'm able to have my husband (who's usually only working or sleeping) take the kids for 15 minutes. This is usually just enough time for me to regain my strength. Ideally, I wish I could take a weekend away with my husband, but that's not a reality, and I won't let fantasy affect my parenting. Maybe some do. *shrug*
Don't Compare
I don't compare myself to other mommies. If I did, I would go crazy. Why? Because all mommies do things differently. I can't worry about Jane's finances and how they seem so much better off than me, and I can't worry about Marcy's debt because I can't imagine how she does it. It's not my problem. We have our own individual problems. And the same goes with kids. I can't worry about Donna's kids and how they are doing in school, or what milestones her baby has met (or not) or how her marriage is or isn't going. If I looked at all the things other people had, instead of focusing on what we have or need, I'd spend my whole life trying to rearrange my whole life! Ridiculous. So, I worry about us. I focus on us. I am proud of us. I make choices for us. This is how I cope with not going CRAZY!
The thing is, what works for me and mine, may not work for you and yours, but this is how I cope with life as a (practically single) mother of 3. If you're having trouble, feel free to adapt one of my methods, but remember, I am in no way responsible if it doesn't work! Seriously. :)
So, without further ado, here's how to cope:
Pick your Battles
This has got to be one of the most important pieces to making my puzzle work! If I were to scold or correct everything that one child did "wrong", I'd spend my whole day nagging. I don't wish for my kids to live in a negative environment, nor do I wish to reside in one. So, instead, I pick the parts that I feel deem worthy of discipline or lecture. These include instances that are dangerous, in which someone was hurt (emotionally or physically), when they crossed the line of inappropriate or when they blatantly disregaurd a rule. Other times, I just let it roll. 9 times out of 10 your children will do things simply for the attention they get anyway.
Don't Plan
Now, I may be alone in the mom world here, but for us, if I DON'T plan and just do things spontaneously it works so much better! If I plan on doing something, it almost always stresses me out, gets the kids riled up and ends in a negative way. If I just go on a whim, our ship runs much more smoothly! Now, I plan to a certain extent, like, I know I will need to get groceries sometime in the next 2 days. But, that's the most planning I'll do for it. Then, sometime in the next 2 days, I'll pack the kids up when they're in good moods, load them in the van and head to the store, which will most definitely end up being a hell of a trip, but less of a hassel than had I planned it! It also makes it easier to be spontaneously with a baby who I nurse on demand. Since he's not scheduled, I can nurse him when he asks and then head to the store and not have to worry about nursing, shopping and chasing 2 0ther kids all at once!
Get rid of schedules!
This doesn't work for everyone, and I know it. But for us, NOT scheduling is so nice! Firstly, I HATE being told what to do and when to do it! I'm not always hungry at noon every day, sometimes I want lunch at 11, or maybe 1. Our kids are no different. I keep a vague time frame for when I like things to be done and I DO enforce that, however, it is definitely not to a tee. Bedtime is anywhere before 10pm. Breakfast is whenever the kids ask to eat. Naps...HA, I'm lucky if anyone naps! But that's ok!! This is how we run. This is what works!
Me time!!!!
This is big and EVERY mother should have this, but every mother should remember that her number one priority is her kiddos. Sometimes, me time just DOESN'T happen, and you HAVE GOT to be ok with that. I am! Yeah, I need to walk away sometimes and I've done it! You know those commercials advocating against SBS (Shaken Baby Syndrome)? The ones that say "If you feel like shaking your baby, put it down and walk away."? Well, I utilize that philosophy. If I feel I'm going to yell or spank my kids, I walk away. I believe in gentle discipline, treating children with love and respect, like human beings. So, if I feel I'm not going to treat them that way, I leave the room. I take a breather. Sometimes, that's the only "me" time I get. Other times, I'm able to have my husband (who's usually only working or sleeping) take the kids for 15 minutes. This is usually just enough time for me to regain my strength. Ideally, I wish I could take a weekend away with my husband, but that's not a reality, and I won't let fantasy affect my parenting. Maybe some do. *shrug*
Don't Compare
I don't compare myself to other mommies. If I did, I would go crazy. Why? Because all mommies do things differently. I can't worry about Jane's finances and how they seem so much better off than me, and I can't worry about Marcy's debt because I can't imagine how she does it. It's not my problem. We have our own individual problems. And the same goes with kids. I can't worry about Donna's kids and how they are doing in school, or what milestones her baby has met (or not) or how her marriage is or isn't going. If I looked at all the things other people had, instead of focusing on what we have or need, I'd spend my whole life trying to rearrange my whole life! Ridiculous. So, I worry about us. I focus on us. I am proud of us. I make choices for us. This is how I cope with not going CRAZY!
The thing is, what works for me and mine, may not work for you and yours, but this is how I cope with life as a (practically single) mother of 3. If you're having trouble, feel free to adapt one of my methods, but remember, I am in no way responsible if it doesn't work! Seriously. :)
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