You Are My Sunshine

"You are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear
how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

My mom always sang that to my little brother and me; it's always been such a sweet soothing song. I started singing it to my Maggie when she was first born and it's a lullaby I continue to sing to this day to all of them. Other favorites include: Baby Mine, Mr. Sun and Hush Little Baby.

Those who know me know that I sing...almost constantly, in fact. So it's no wonder my babies enjoy my singing since they've heard it nine months before meeting me. There were some nights when Maggie was so fussy and inconsolable, and I'd just sing to her; partly to cover up the sound of her crying, yes, but also to help soothe her back in to sleep. When Iris would wake up in the middle of the night, during the time my husband was working graveyard shift, I'd sing to her as she fell back to sleep in my arms. And as Alex would lay there, wide awake nursing and fighting sleep, I'd lull him with a song, too.

Each time I sung to my babes, it brought me back to my own infantile days when my mother would cuddle me, stroke my hair, and tell me I was her sunshine.

What childhood snuggle memories do you have?
Did your mother use to sing you to sleep with a lullaby?
Do you sing it to your babes?

Why did no one tell me?

When I was pregnant with my son I was told by many people, friends and strangers alike, that I was in for a lot of fun, a lot of love and a full heart of love when talking about my future son. The one thing no one honestly told me, was just HOW different raising a boy would be to raising a girl.

First of all, the clothes are harder to find and nothing's as cute for little boys as it is for little girls! I felt lost in the boy's department after shopping for pink for the last 4.5 years!

Secondly, no one told me that the nausea he gave me while I was pregnant wouldn't stop when he was born! Since birth the boy has kept me on my toes and I am constantly worrying about him in one aspect or another...the heartburn and indigestion stayed, too.

And how about finding a name!! You have to be so careful it's not too pretty, can't be mistaken for being feminine...I wanted something strong but not burly. The arguments over names ranked with WW2. And to this day, I'm still not 100% sure about what we picked!

And when you're pregnant with a girl, how many times do you and your husband fight over the cosmetic surgeries she may or may not have after birth? There were no major discussions before with the two girls but throw a boy in the mix and now not only is name picking harder but you have to pick a penis, too!

I could probably go on, but I'll spare you all. If you're a mom of girls and then had a boy, you totally know what I'm talking about! But then all moms of boys know this: that a boy fills your heart with a kind of love that you can only have for your son. Something about how they are constantly creating near death experiences for themselves (and you) brings you closer together. Something about this rough and tumble little kiddo giving you hugs and cuddles pulls at your heart strings so differently.

I always worried, after having my first that I could never give as much love to another child as I had given to her, and yet, two kids later, I've learned that your heart grows and grows, and gives and gives, even after you think it's at capacity.

Was there ever a time in your pregnancy/pregnancies that you wondered what you had gotten in to? How did that change after having your baby?

Search me, I'm famous.

Ok, so not *really*, but you CAN see me when you do a Yahoo! search.

After reading through my stats on my flickr account, I noticed certain viewed photos had not been viewed THROUGH flickr, but an outside source. I was able to click and it took me directly to where the photo was found by the searcher. Pretty neat. The tag typed in to Yahoo! search was "Nursing in Public" and my photo was on the first page, the 8th image. It's a great shot that my now 6.5 year old took of my son nursing in Historic Columbia, CA last summer. Neato!

Have you ever found your own photo when searching on line? I think it's pretty neat, but at the same time, I sort of feel like people can "spy" on me. I guess it's all part of having any segment of your life on line.

Here's the LINK if anyone is interested, just thought it was sort of a neat find to share!

Procrastination is a pain in the mouth!

I posted not long ago about Maggie's first big girl tooth. She has since had one loosen up, and the adult tooth behind that just started coming in.

She is SO worried about it possibly hurting, that instead of wiggling her tooth and playing with it with her tongue in hopes to get some cash money from mommy and daddy, she leaves it alone. So much so, that it actually started to tighten back up!!

Now, I understand she is probably scared...after all, she has never lost a tooth before. I've sat and talked with her, explained how it hurts just a little when it's pulled, but that it's quickly fixed with ice cream and it won't hurt at all the next day and she'll have money to spend or at to her savings! She doesn't believe me!

I've never been here before, as a parent. As a kid, yea, but my mom always yanked our teeth out for us...ugh. I know, like many other things, it will happen in it's natural course of time...but she's beginning to avoid any foods that are tough so as to not accidentally lose the tooth, either! It's driving me bananas!

I'm so tempted to bump into her mouth and knock it out! Something I of course would never do...but jeez! How much longer are we gonna baby the tooth?

No Nonsense in this blog...

My grandmother, 84 years old, had spinal surgery today. I don't know the details or what type of surgery, so I apologize in advance for anyone who was going to ask. She has made it through and the surgeon said it went well, but things like this always get me thinking.

It was risky for her to have surgery, but she passed all the tests and the doctor was very concerned, as if left untreated, a small bump or fall could have sent her into full on paralysis. So, it was a risk worth taking to her to enjoy the rest of her life to the fullest she could.

I've never undergone any surgeries, and am definitely fearful of ever having to. But sometimes, there's not much you can do about these things. Aside from fear of my kids losing me if something ever went wrong, because even the most routine surgeries carry the risk of death, I fear what I would do if any of my children had to undergo something like this.

As a mother, I think our biggest fear is the loss of our children. Sometimes, it becomes more real on our journey as mother and child. Has there ever been a time when you were faced with the harsh reality of life as it pertains to motherhood? What was the scenario and how did it go? Would you do anything differently?

I know this is a touchy subject, but I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to go through any serious illness, or surgery, or battle...but moreso, I can't imagine watching my child go through it. Your insight is much valued and your opinions always welcome.